My WAVY BIRTHDAY WISHLIST !!!

Today's morning-walk along the Worli Sea-face promenade.....felt different for me. The eerie silence of the waves alternating with its humble roar, lashing against the shore..... the humid weather..... the cloudy sky...... my jogging shoe sole giving way..... yeh baat kuch hazam nahi hui.

I realized, then, I would be turning 25 tomorrow..... and, was this a hint from the one up there........ ???
I started making a wish-list of a different kind.....inspired by the waves.
Here goes.....

I wish I never again, feel like worrying and keep thinking about the lovely sea-waves which keep coming onto the shore one after another, breaking off.....but knowing that, that's the way the calm and powerful sea expresses its happiness.
I wish I never worry about the sand on the shore, which has to see so many waves being destroyed on the shore..... they are not destroyed, in fact they are totally accepted by the sand with all their characteristics, just the way they are.
I wish I never worry about the short life-span of the waves..... each moment of it, is spent with such joy, so freely.
I wish I always stay as expressive and happy as the waves, and be as calm and powerful as the sea, and get someone as firm as the shore, accepting me for who I am (I am fortunate enough to have such people in my life, already).
I wish all possible ways of running away from problems are blocked and many new avenues of solving them are opened.
I wish the coming year repeats all the happy moments of my life a thousand times over and gives me more such moments.
I wish all my dreams and aspirations are fulfilled and many more such dreams are born in my mind.
I wish myself..... a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

Teenage Angst: I AM VJ

I am sharing a "beautiful" poem from the book, "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul on Tough Stuff"..... I have modified it a little..... but the entire credit goes to the original poet, Krysteen Hernandez (I don't know who she is, but if you're reading this..... Thank you)

I read this poem when I was going through some really difficult moments in my life (more about that, on another blog-post)..... and the fact that this poem rightly described my frame of mind (at that time) in the most simplistic way, really stood out, for me.

So here goes...... I call this poem:      I AM VJ

I am a poet writing of my pain,
I am a person living a life of shame.
I am your son hiding my depression,
I am your brother making a good impression.

I am your friend acting like I'm fine,

I am a wisher wishing this life weren't mine.

I am a guy who thinks of ending his life,

I am a teenager with a lot of issues rife.

I am a student who doesn't have a clue,

I am the guy sitting next to you.

I am the one asking you to care,

I am your best friend hoping you'll be there.

My tryst with CANCER

Another day, another case.
This blog-post speaks of a man's "need"..... a need to get "diagnosed" first and then the need to get treated and the need to lead a normal healthy life..... Alas! That was not to be ! Read on.......
This patient's case is slightly peculiar because he presented with varying symptoms. I was supposed to present his case, but never got the chance to.....

The Violet Ribbon- "Support Hodgkin's Lymphoma Awareness"

This man was a poor construction-site worker from a remote village, and came to our hospital with complaints of swelling in the neck, fever, weakness, breathlessness, facial puffiness, abdominal complaints and various other non-specific complaints. He was admitted to our hospital 4 months ago to undergo a biopsy but backed out, for reasons best known to him.
Since I examined this patient in detail, I knew his clinical history..... he had multiple shotty lymph nodes all over his body (basically, a generalised lymphadenopathy). My provisional diagnosis for the case read: "Multiple enlarged lymph nodes due to ???Hodgkin's Lymphoma (possibly stage III B) with a severe degree of anemia and anasarca"
Now when I say, a severe degree of anemia.....his "Hemoglobin" levels were 3.2 gm/dl (normal level for an adult male as per Indian standards: between 12-16 gm/dl). Multiple transfusions later, he developed a cardiac overload, which he did recover from. Ideally concentrating on his primary disease, he should have undergone a "biopsy of his neck lymph nodes", but he was scared (?) of this procedure and even though I explained to him that it was a "harmless" procedure, he wasn't convinced. The patient's brother was basically running from pillar to post, just to get a "certain" diagnosis for this patient. My professors suspected a form of "Lymphoma", but a confirmatory test was required in the form of a biopsy, so that he could be referred to a centre offering "Specialised Cancer treatment" (since those facilities were unavailable at my teaching hospital). Since the patient was unwilling to get any form of procedure done on him (while his relatives were more than willing), he was asked to get "discharged". He actually did !!!
Around 2 months later, I was enjoying a "mini"-party with some close friends and just outside the venue..... this patient's brother spots me, and actually recognises me, and then addresses me as "Dr." (I was just a final year student then, but such "occasions" actually give you such a "HIGH"). I remember this patient well and I asked the relative how my patient was doing. I was in for a shock now.....
My patient had expired a week ago...... he developed a severe anaemia again and was admitted to the Rural Hospital in his village. But this time, no amount of transfusions or symptomatic treatment could help him...... his lymphoma, I guess, turned too aggressive......he died from a cardio-pulmonary arrest due to an extremely severe degree of anaemia ( I was told, his Hemoglobin was just 1.7 gm/dl !!! ).
So that party turned out to be exactly the opposite- a cause for celebration..... turned into a cause for mourning !!!
Patient deaths wouldn't affect me so often (more on that on another blog-post), but what happened here shouldn't have happened and in fact, shouldn't happen to anyone...... this man died for the lack of a diagnosis, a fear of the unknown and basically, according to me, his own foolishness (for lack of a better word).
But as my internship progressed and as my rural postings came to an end, I realised that this man's case was not an isolated instance. In fact, in the villages of India, thousands of such deaths go "undiagnosed" !
And we talk about "HEALTH FOR ALL" !!! Wow !